BL Note
by TF.Tef
Summary: Ryuk has a reputation in the other realms, and after getting on the bad side of a certain Otakugami, she lets loose the horrors of yaoi on the unsuspecting Kira Investigation task force.


BL Note

_How to Use It_

1. The human (male) whose name is written in this note shall become gay for another human (male).

* * *

L was crushing pieces of watermelon between his teeth, his eyes following each stroke of Misa's hairbrush on the big, flat monitor in front of him, while Light paid no attention, continuing to skim through their files on the case. The Task Force did the same, going through their seemingly endless stacks of paper.

All was usual.

* * *

'_That stupid shinigami! He'll regret messing with me!_,' a certain Otakugami thought, gritting her teeth.

"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?"

She looked over her shoulder to see a friend, "Minia?"

"Well, are you?"

She turned around fully and pouted, "Yeah."

Minia giggled, "You really need to let it go, Tokia."

"But he-!"

"Wait!" Minia's instincts kicked in as she cut off her friend, "I want you to _slowly_ tell me what's been going on. And try not to ramble," she knelt down and sat, cross-legged.

"Okay," Tokia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I asked some Shinigami what Ryuk was up to, and they told me that he had dropped his Death Note in to the human world. So now he's following some human around."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes. I went and checked through the Holes, where I saw him greedily stuffing his face with juicy, red apples in some Japanese boy's bedroom."

"So…are you planning on doing something about it?"

Tokia gave a crooked smile, "I'm going to make his time in the human world a living hell with _my_ Note," she held up a black notebook with some colorful letters etched to the front, as to emphasize her plan. Her smile vanished as she continued, "That is, until he learns his lesson." She finished, giving a small nod.

"Okay… So, you wouldn't mind if I joined in on the fun?"

"Nope."

"Cool."

* * *

Light reclined in his chair – his files set aside and his computer's screensaver blinking on – staring at the screen, along with L and the members of the Task Force, as Misa began experimenting with her hair; creating a complex maze of blonde braids on her head. He tapped a pen lightly on the stretched table in front of him.

"…Raito-kun?"

"Yes?" Light's eyes looked to the left to see L looking back at him. Though, something was… off. His eyes looked bigger (if that was possible), and appeared as though they were...glimmering?

"What is it, Ryuzaki," said Light, when there came no answer.

"I...I think I _like_ you."

"Uh, yeah, I guess I like you, too, Ryuzaki. After all, you did say I'm the first ever friend you've had. I guess I could say the same to you." Light said, shifting his eyes back to the large monitor.

"No, Raito-kun, you misunderstood. I meant to say 'I think I _love_ you'."

"Well, that might be going a bit too far... GAH!" He was yanked from his seat and on to the floor, "Ryuzaki! What the hell is- wait, what are you are you doing?"

L's right hand was attempting to place a strawberry into his own mouth, while his left was using all of its strength to push it back.

"Raito-kun!"

"What!?"

"I don't… I don't… Everything I'm saying is being held back! I don't know what is going on, but I have this strange urge within me wanting to- KISS ME RAITO~!" He slammed his arm and face on to the table, falling back like a rag doll to the floor.

"What the…? Ryuzaki! Are you alright?" Light sat up, looking over at him.

L lay on the floor curled up into a tight ball. Slowly, he turned to face Light with a strawberry strategically placed in his mouth. He purred, "I want you to eat it from my mouth~."

"What the hell...?"

* * *

"Chief, are you okay?!" Aizawa hurriedly spoke as the detective's eyes and mouth fully opened in a mix of fear, shock, and horror.

"Stop it, already!" Matsuda leapt across the room and stood in front of the two boys who were still sitting on the floor, arguing about the strawberry. He froze, suddenly, and stared at Light.

"Oh, thanks, Matsuda. I don't know what's gotten in to him."

"Neither do I, Raito-chan," he fell to his knees at Light's side, setting a hand on his shoulder. He had a dreamy look in his eyes as he gave a small smile.

"-Chan? Wait, Matsuda, you look kind of sick, too. I think you might need a day off- Huh?"

Matsuda gripped both of Light's shoulders now, "A day off? That would be ten times worse than having to stay here and gaze into your beautiful eyes."

"Uh..."

"Excuse me."

Matsuda's trance was broken as he looked behind him to see a frowning Ryuzaki chewing the strawberry, flicking away its leftover leaf.

"Excuse you," said Matsuda, letting go of Light, full attention on L.

L didn't stop to say another word, bringing his foot around to Matsuda's face.

"Hey wait! The chain!" Light gave up trying to bring sense to them and pushed himself under the table out of harm's way. He hugged his chair as the two men began to brawl.

* * *

"Chief..." Mogi started as Aizawa stepped in front of him, face down. "Huh?"

Aizawa put a hand on Mogi's chest, "He'll be fine. For now, though," he pressed himself up against Mogi, "It'll only be about just the two of us~," he finished in a whisper.

"Aizawa...?" Mogi straightened up a bit and took a glance at the panic-ridden Soichiro, who was shifting his head between the two scenes taking place in the room, "Aizawa."

"Yes?" Aizawa looked up at him, smiling.

"We can not be together," he set a hand on his afro.

"What? Why not?!"

"Because my heart belongs to Soichiro," said Mogi, sending a loving smile over to the chief of police, whose face was now turning a greenish-pale.

"What!?"

* * *

Across the room, L sat on top of Matsuda, pinning his shoulders down, "Back off or I'll kick you again."

"Go ahead! Nothing can stop me from being in love!"

L stood up and kicked him in the mouth.

Light was now out from underneath the table, but he was still concerned both for their sake, and for his, not wanting to get carried in by the chain.

"Guys, knock it off!"

"I'll be fine Raito-kun, he can't do anything now. He was obviously confused by false motives from your innocent smile; I won't let him lay a finger on you."

"Um, okay... Look out!"

L turned to see a fist fly straight into his forehead. He gave an irritated grunt and slammed his heel up Matsuda's chin.

The older man lay on the floor looking exhausted and close to tears, "I give! I give!"

L wiped his mouth on his sleeve and looked back, "Are you alright, Raito-kun?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I guess. But he doesn't look so good..."

Matsuda stole a look at L. His body loomed over his with a slight slouch. Feeling a bit strange, he slowly got to his feet, "Ryuzaki..."

"What?"

"You're right; I don't really love Raito-kun."

"I bet you don't."

"But," he took a step closer and touched L's cheek with a hand, "I think it might be you that I truly love~."

"Huh?"

* * *

Soichiro tried desperately to focus on what was happening to his son, but he couldn't look away from Mogi's gaze now. This was all too much.

"But, Mogi! Why?" Aizawa sputtered.

Mogi pushed him aside, "Excuse me."

"Uh, Mogi…?" Soichiro began.

"Hush, my darling," said Mogi, pulling Soichiro into his arms.

"Uh, I think that's enough, Mogi. Really, could you stop- Ah!"

Mogi tightened his grip on the man and leaned in, closer to his face, "That's enough talking..."

"Um..." Soichiro stared into Mogi's eyes. His own softened and his voice became an almost inaudible whisper, "Okay~."

* * *

Aizawa grumbled under his breath, glaring at Soichiro. His glare suddenly disappeared, then reappeared towards Mogi, "You never loved me!"

Soichiro and Mogi turned to face Aizawa.

"But I know who has! Chief! I love you~!"

The two embracing men gasped as Aizawa ran to them in an attempt to break them apart and hug Soichiro.

"Let go!" Mogi huffed, in frustration.

"Soichiro, I want to be together with you forever!"

Mogi continued to struggle pushing Aizawa aside while Soichiro looked on with wide, watery eyes.

* * *

All of this continued on a bright screen in a dark room. Facing away from the commotion in his spinning chair, Watari calmly held a phone to his ear and smiled, "Hello, my little angel~."

"Eh?" said Roger on the other end of the line.

* * *

Light watched as his dad was being fought over by two other men, then looked down to see Matsuda lying on top of L, trying to steal a kiss from him

"Get off of me you idiot!"

"Just once, Ryuzaki!" He pulled himself closer to L's face, only to be pushed back by his hands and feet.

Light spaced out for a moment, looking away from the commotion and stared at the floor with blank eyes. He then slowly climbed up on to the table, facing the wall. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch him as he dramatically spun around with the biggest grin on his face they had ever seen.

He spread his arms wide open, "LOVE ME~!"

Soichiro's mouth dropped while Matsuda and L resumed their push and pull situation. And Mogi and Aizawa continued to tousle at each other's coats.

"I love you all!" Light began to get lost in a fit of gay laughter as he skipped around L and Matsuda.

* * *

Tokia and Minia couldn't control themselves.

Tokia gasped, "I wish I could see his face when he sees what's happened! Ha!" She fell over. Minia was laughing too hard to reply.

* * *

Ryuk stood next to a group of bushes, in front of a small park. He watched kids flood out from a school across the street and race to the playground in front of him. He chuckled, watching them scream and play. He started smiling like a madman when he saw apples resting in the side pocket of a kid's backpack.

It was an absolutely wonderful day.

**THE END**

* * *

Author's Note: This is one of the first fan-fictions I've ever written (I made it back in 2011, and I just finished tweaking and editing it). It was a lot of fun and really random. And the "Otakugami," Tokia and Minia, aren't serious characters of mine, they were just made up on the spot for the sake of the story. Well, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Constructive criticism is always appreciated (should I bump up the content rating to T? I don't think its too bad...). Thank you for reading!


End file.
